As a parent, what is it that you want to ultimately accomplish? My guess is that you want to see to it that your children learn to become independent adults, with the knowledge and ability to take good care of themselves and make good choices.
As important as that goal seems to be, it is my observation that many young adults are incapable of taking care of themselves because they have not been trained.
I see two reasons for this.
- Parents feel that the way to communicate love for their children is by doing everything for their children; things that their children could be doing on their own.
- Parents get worn out by the whining and complaining and feel it is just easier to do things for their children rather than make them do it themselves. In both cases, the parents are focusing on the moment, and not on the big picture.
Parents who keep their children’s future in mind train their children in age-related skills and watch their children as they learn, struggle, make mistakes, figure it out and eventually thrive as they master those skills.
They watch their children’s self-esteem grow as they take on the belief that I can do this myself.
They watch their children’s self-confidence grow as their children take steps to become capable and independent.
Children lack vision.
That’s why they have you. Your role as a parent is to take charge and be a leader. Your role is to train your children to be independent adults someday and give you grandchildren.
Then you can spoil all you want because that’s what grandparents do. But until then, you need to give your children the knowledge and ability to succeed in a tough world.
As a take-charge mom or dad (and the boss of your kids), you are going to experience frustration as your children resist and complain, “But why do I have to?”
You will look them in the eye and say, “Because I have more information and experience than you do and I know what you’re going to be up against when you strike out on your own.So, you can take comfort in knowing that I will do everything I can to get you prepared.”
Your children don’t know it, but you are going to give them a gift that will benefit them for the rest of their lives: the gift of knowledge and ability, and the gift of independence.
Life-skills are skills that help children make the transition from dependence to independence by adding to their capabilities and helping them experience the joy that comes from achieving something through hard work, perseverance and patience.
From putting toys in the toy box to making a budget, life-skills prepare a child to be productive.
When you teach children life-skills you empower them. You give them the ability, the confidence, and the power to do something they couldn’t do before.
There are many benefits of empowering your children. They would include:
- It instills in them a sense of accomplishment and confidence.
- It enables them to be a more capable, contributing member of the family, thus satisfying their need to feel a sense of belonging.
- It increases their sense of personal power so they don’t feel they have to be sassy or defiant to meet that need on their own.
- It helps them to become more independent.
- It prepares them to be a productive member of society.
- It gives them skills they will need as adults.
- It could begin an interest in something that turns into a passion.
- They learn at a younger age with your help than they would without your help.
- It strengthens the connection between child and parent.
- The more they learn to do, the less you have to do for them.
Life-skills include household responsibilities, but go beyond that.
They include anything that enriches someone’s life, such as learning to count, throwing a ball, riding a bike, making a healthy smoothie, learning to swim, or riding a horse. As children are exposed to life-skills, they will decide what interests them and what doesn’t.
Keep in mind that what interests you may not necessarily interest them. And what interests one child might not interest another. Exposing them to many life-skills will give them opportunities to choose what they like and what they don’t like, and being able to choose helps satisfy their need for a sense of personal power.
Children are hard-wired with a need for a sense of belonging and personal power. Teaching them life-skills is a good way to satisfy both needs. You can give them a sense of belonging by spending time teaching them. You can give them a sense of personal power by empowering them with new skills.
I believe every child is born with unique talents and gifts. The more you expose your children to new life-skills, the greater the chance those unique gifts will be discovered. For example, a child may be born with the gift of singing. But unless that child is exposed to opportunities to sing, that gift may never be realized.
For a list of 81 life skills, click on the following link: