When I was a young parent, I didn’t give any thought or worry about my children going down dark paths leading to:
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- Teenage pregnancy
- Poverty and homelessness
- Committing a crime and going to jail
- Terrorism like school shootings
- Pornography addiction
- Gang involvement
- Violence against another person
- A failed marriage
- Child abuse
- And thoughts of suicide
I was too busy putting out fires and attending to the drama and chaos surrounding my children. The fact that I was so focused on my present situation made me disregard any effect my parenting style was having on the emotional health of my children.
Was I causing anger, distress, frustration or resentment, and didn’t know it? Were my children bottling up negative emotions like sadness, loneliness and feelings of worthlessness? Would those negative feelings eventually come out in their behavior?
Struggling
At the time I didn’t know about the 4 Emotional Needs. But I did know I was struggling. Now I know that struggling is a red flag, indicating that I was not meeting my children’s emotional needs.
I wish I had known early on what I know now.
There are parents right now struggling like I was, and their children are struggling as a result. When children struggle, they act out, when they get a little older, they look for ways to numb their emotional pain. They are more likely to go down dark paths like the ones listed above. How do I know this?
I’ve talked with hundreds of incarcerated men who have gone down those dark paths and who are now experiencing the consequences.
I keep up with current affairs, and it seems there is a steady increase in tragic endings.
I observe struggling teens who are unruly, undisciplined and seem to be headed down those dark paths.
I often thought to myself: What can be done to keep children from going down dark paths? Someone needs to do something!
Could I Make a Difference?
Then I wondered if I could make a difference? What could I do the help parents keep their children from going down dark paths, and put their children on paths to success and happiness. Is it possible an average guy like me could do something like that? These are questions that kept me awake at night.
After reading dozens of parenting books and discovering the 4 Emotional Needs, I started thinking that if parents knew about the 4 Emotional Needs and worked on meeting them, their struggling would decline naturally and automatically. As a result, their children’s struggling would also decrease. That would lead to:
- A better relationship between parents and their children
- More cooperation among children
- A stronger family where children learn and practice good values
- And a greater likelihood children would make good choices when parents are not around
And ultimately, more happiness all around. Parents would be able to take their children away from paths leading to unhappiness and self-destruction, and put them on paths to success and happiness.
Are You Ready to Make a Difference?
So this is my calling: to help YOU reduce your struggling. That will empower you to reduce your children’s struggling, and that will put your children on those good paths.
How am I going to do that? I’m going to start by creating a blog (this blog) and writing a book (to be published in 2024).
If you are willing to make a change, I can give you the tools and the skills to make a difference in your life and in your children’s lives.
P.S. There was a time early on in my parenting journey that I realized I had to make a major change in the way I was raising my kids or I was in trouble and so were my children. Until that happened, I wasn’t interested in learning how to be a better parent. I’m glad I learned good parenting skills in time to direct my kids onto paths leading to happiness and success – or who knows what would have happened. I hope you are ready to make a change.