There are two types of one-on-one time: 1) Unplanned time, and 2) Planned time.
Unplanned Time
Unplanned time is when you do something spontaneously, like walking the dog. “Hey, wanna walk the dog with me?”
It could be running an errand together. “Hey, I’m running to the store. Wanna come with me?”
It could be something you know your child likes to do. “Hey, you wanna throw the ball for a few minutes?”
It could be an activity your child does NOT like to do. “Mind if I give you a hand with that chore?”
It could be an activity that your child chooses. “Hey, I’ve got a few minutes. What would you like to do?”
Bed time is a good time for unplanned one-on-one time. After your child gets into bed you can spend a few minutes reading or talking.
When you are alone with your child in the car, turn off the radio and strike up a conversation.
Teaching your child a life-skill can be a good way to spend unplanned one-on-one time together.
Keep in mind what interests you may not necessarily interest your child. And what interests one child might not interest another. Exposing them to many different activities and life-skills will give them opportunities to choose what they like and what they don’t like—and being able to choose helps satisfy their need for a sense of personal power.
Planned Time
Planned time works like this: Say to your child, “Let’s you and me do something together—just the two of us. We’ll set a date and write it on the calendar. What would you like to do?”
There’s something about writing it on a calendar that gives an event importance. Your child will feel important and look forward to your daddy-daughter date or your father-son activity.
When you do what your child likes to do, you will be entering her world, so be ready to play. Depending on her age, you might build a tower with blocks, read a book together, kick around the soccer ball, or go on a hike. Your time together should be face to face. No TV.
Be prepared to give your child a choice between two activities if she can’t think of one. “Would you like to play a game or go for a walk?”
To get you thinking of ideas you can do with your children, here is a list of 70 things I have done with my children. This list is by no means exhaustive and these activities can be used for either unplanned or planned time.
- Lie on the trampoline or grass at night with blankets and pillows and look at the stars
- Play catch
- Play a game—Old Maid is a card game with matching cards. Turn them all face down and take turns flipping over two cards, trying to find the matching pair
- Shoot some hoops
- Take a trip to the library
- Bake something: cake, cookies, brownies
- Build something with blocks or Legos
- Draw or color something
- Go to a golf course. Practice putting on the putting green, hit a bucket of balls, or play a round.
- Build a snowman
- Make snow angels
- Have a picnic—outdoors or indoors
- Visit a museum
- Take the dog to a dog training class
- Write a letter to someone you both know, like Grandma, or a friend
- Look at family photos
- Sing songs
- Tell stories about when your child was a toddler or a baby
- Simply hold your child
- Build a blanket fort
- Plant flower or vegetable seeds—create a garden
- Go to the park
- Finger Paint with chocolate pudding
- Take pictures or videos—make a movie
- Visit an aquarium
- Put together a puzzle
- Build a fire and make s’mores
- Build something with wood—maybe a bird house
- Make homemade pizza
- Rake leaves and jump in the pile
- Make water balloons. Play catch with one as you slowly back farther away from each other
- Go on a bike ride
- Have fun with Play-Doh
- Go on a hike
- Attend a baseball, basketball, soccer, or football game
- Go fishing
- Go out for ice cream, pie, bagels, donuts, pizza, chicken or burgers
- Look at things under a magnifying glass
- Look at things under a microscope
- Go horseback riding
- Blow bubbles
- Paint a picture by numbers
- Attend a play or dance performance
- Wash the car
- Fly a kite
- Jump rope
- Play hopscotch
- Exercise together
- Go jogging together—enter a 1-mile or 5K race
- Color with crayons or colored pencils
- Go bowling—or set up a bowling alley in your hall with empty 2-liter plastic bottles and a softball.
- Play Simon Says
- Listen to music and play homemade instruments together
- Start a journal with each child
- Prepare a family meal together
- Start a collection
- Play with sidewalk chalk
- Play tetherball
- Play ping pong
- Indoor or outdoor miniature golf
- Tell jokes
- Play hillbilly golf (Google it)
- Ride inner-tubes or toboggins down a snowy hill
- Go to a movie
- Feed the ducks at a local pond
- Have your child teach you something he knows but you don’t
- Write a poem
- Experiment with a new recipe
- Go swimming
- Go camping in the woods, the backyard or the living room
You can find a lot of suggestions for activities to do with your children at any age, by going to Google and searching on:
- Activities with 3-year-olds
- Activities with _____ year-olds
- Activities with teenagers