Your children are always watching what you do. Mimicking you is the way they learn most. They observe how you treat other people. They watch how you handle stress. They see how you practice what you teach.
Being a positive role model is one of the most effective things you can do to have a positive influence on your children.
If you don’t want your kids to smoke, drink, do drugs, swear, or watch pornography, be a non-smoker. Refrain from drinking. Don’t do drugs. Don’t swear. Don’t watch pornography. Your example will go a long way in shaping your children’s desire to do the same.
Want your kids to be kind? Let them see you hold the door open for someone, let someone go in front of you in line, or offer someone help.
Want your kids to be respectful? Let them see you say, “Excuse me,” when you bump into someone, say, “I’m sorry,” when you hurt or offend someone, or ask before you borrow something.
Want your kids to always tell the truth? Model being honest even when telling the truth would not be in your favor.
Want your kids to learn better skills for resolving conflicts? Let them see you resolving conflicts with your spouse, your friend, or your neighbor.
Your children will imitate what they see you do. Here are a few examples of teaching your children negative values by what you do.
A father spends much of his time playing computer games, but tells his 13-year-old daughter she spends too much time playing computer games. She learns that playing computer games is okay as long as dad doesn’t find out.
A mom tells the cashier at a movie theatre that her 12-year-old son is only 11 so he can get in at a discount. His son learns it’s okay to lie.
Dad teaches his daughter to treat everyone with respect, yet he often neglects to say “Please,” and “Thank you.” His daughter learns that if she doesn’t practice respect, it’s okay.
A mom and dad argue frequently, sometimes yelling, criticizing, and saying sarcastic things. The children learn to treat each other the same way when they are upset.
A father tells his children not to swear, but swears profusely when someone cuts him off in traffic. The children learn that it’s okay to swear if someone makes them mad.
A mom tells her daughter to be kind to others, yet allows the bus driver to pull out when she sees someone running for the bus. Her daughter learns you don’t have to be kind if it’s not convenient or in your best interest.
While smoking a cigarette, a father tells his son he should never start smoking. The son has already decided that whatever is good enough for dad, is good enough for him.
I guess you have to ask yourself the question: are you the kind of person you want your children to imitate? If not, then you can expect some challenging behavior.