After you have made a rule, your child will choose whether or not to obey the rule. Sometimes he will choose not to obey. When that happens, it’s good to know some ways to enforce the rule before you resort to consequences.

It’s important to be consistent in enforcing the rules.

Enforcing a rule one day and letting it go the next can cause kids to test the rule continually. Then, when you want to enforce the rule, it’s hard to get the children to obey it. They will come to believe that you don’t mean what you say.

If children think they can get away with ignoring one rule, there’s a good chance they will try to get away with ignoring other rules.

Allow your children to express their feelings, but let them know you expect them to stay within the boundaries you set.

Keep in mind that kids cannot obey a rule if there is no rule to obey. Skill #12 shows how to create rules.

The remainder of these mini-lessons will teach techniques to help you guide your children back to within the boundaries you have set:

1. Describe what you see
2. Use one word
3. Express how you feel
4. Include “because” and tack on an agreement
5. Use soft criticism
6. Stop, Redirect, Reward
7. When-then statements
8. Give advance warning
9. Cooling-off period

Common situations and how to approach them:
 

1. Tantrums
2. Aggressive behavior
3. Lying
4. Fighting with siblings
5. Disrespectful backtalk