Achieving goals helps children feel a higher sense of self-worth, self-confidence, and personal power, all essential in overcoming challenges, becoming independent, and enjoying success. The following illustration shows, at a glance, how you can help your child set and achieve goals.
Power of creation. Goals help a child learn something or do something or create something that was once non-existent. Teach your child that he or she has the power to create.
Where I am. This is your child’s current self-worth, self-confidence, knowledge, strength of perseverance, and sense of personal power. When your child achieves his goal, all of these characteristics increase and make it possible to shoot for a bigger goal next time.
Where I want to be (the goal). What does your child want to achieve? What gets him excited? What does he dream about doing or having? Encourage your child to choose goals that are attainable but also just out of reach. That way he learns to push himself to meet a new challenge instead of remaining in the comfort zone.
Motivation is the first step in the process to achieving a goal. If your child doesn’t have a good reason to achieve his goal, he’ll quit as soon as things get hard. When your child gets stuck, his vision, or reason for achieving his goal, will help him keep going.
Plan is the second step in the process to achieving a goal. Every goal that you can think of has already been achieved by someone who has given us a plan to follow. Look into books, videos, coaches, classes and mentors for that.
Search the internet for any topic. Search YouTube for instructions on how to do almost anything.
Depending on the size of your child’s goal, you might break his big goal into smaller, manageable steps. Make a goal ladder with his big goal at the top. Each rung on the ladder is a smaller step required to get to the top. Each step leads to the next. And when your child plans smaller steps along the way, it’s easier to measure his progress.
Setting realistic deadlines makes it much more likely that you and your child will actually plan out each step to achieve your goals in a reasonable amount of time.
Plan for potential obstacles. Talk about bad habits or negative thoughts that might cause him to feel like giving up. If your child expects that he will be faced with roadblocks, he won’t be surprised when it happens and be tempted to quit.
Cheerleader is the third step in the process to achieving a goal. You are your child’s biggest cheerleader. Recognize and congratulate achievements made along the way. Your child needs your recognition whenever a rung on the goal ladder has been achieved. Your recognition and congratulations will encourage him to keep going.
Action. Action is the fourth step in the process to achieving a goal. Now he must take “massive” action by following the plan.
Every goal worth achieving has obstacles along the way. When your child is faced with a task that seems too hard, talk about perseverance. Having perseverance means that you keep working on something that’s hard or takes a long time to complete. When a child struggles to achieve a goal, the accomplishment of that goal is even sweeter. Help your child understand that challenges are opportunities to learn, and that overcoming challenges make us stronger and more resilient; able to tackle bigger challenges down the road.
When the Goal is Achieved
Look what happens when the goal or a step to the goal is achieved. Your child’s sense of self-worth and self-confidence go up. Knowledge and perseverance are increased. What he couldn’t do before, he has learned to do, which gives him a healthy dose of personal power. All of these are added to “Where I am”. And your child is empowered to take on a more challenging step toward his goal, or a more challenging goal.
If the Goal is Not Achieved
What if your child gives up? What if the goal is out of reach or your child loses interest in pursuing the goal? How do you keep your child’s self-worth, self-confidence, and sense of personal power from crashing down? That’s where unconditional love comes into play.
Let your child know that even if he never achieves the goal, you still love him and you will never stop loving him. There will be other goals that you’ll help him achieve as soon as he is ready. Then take him out for ice cream. Do something to meet his sense of belonging because right now he is feeling like he let you down.
Do not criticize. Criticism kills relationships.