Here are the 4 objectives you are going to achieve.
- Strengthen your relationship with your children
- Replace misbehavior with cooperation
- Build a strong family where your children learn and practice good values
- Increase the odds your children will make good choices when you are not around
Let’s take a look at each in a little more detail so you know exactly where we’re headed.
1. Strengthen your relationship with your children
When it comes to family, relationships are everything.
A good relationship with your children is the key to being a happy parent and giving your kids the best chance at becoming happy, successful teenagers and adults.
When your children have a good relationship with you, they learn to love themselves and to love others. They have higher self-worth and self-confidence.
They do better in school and get along better with their siblings (most of the time).
When you have a good relationship with your children, they will be more willing to listen to what you teach and do what you ask.
They will feel more like cooperating. They will be more likely to make good choices when you are not around, and have the courage to stand up for what they believe, even if they stand alone.
However, when your relationship is on rocky ground, it can be tough going. Your kids don’t listen to you. They don’t do what you ask. Your life is stressful.
You don’t feel the joy and fulfillment you thought parenting would bring. You worry that you are a bad parent and messing up your kids.
I know. That’s how I felt when I was a young parent.
2. Replace misbehavior with cooperation
Reduce the whining, teasing, interrupting, tantrums, ignoring, acts of defiance, fighting with siblings, back-talk, and all the other displeasing behaviors.
And increase the moments when you ask your child to do something and she does it.
She might complain (and that’s ok), but she does it. As a result, you will experience less frustration and anger.
3. Build a strong family where your children learn and practice good values
Values are the guiding principles or personal rules you choose to live by. They influence your decisions and behavior. Your values guide you to achieve what you want, and keep you from getting into trouble. You can identify your values by filling in the blank:
It’s important to _____________.
For example, it’s important to be honest. It’s important to help each other.
You will pass your values onto your children. That’s right. You must live the values you teach. There is no way around that.
Behavior is driven by values. It’s the actions you take based on your values. If you value honesty, then your behavior is to always tell the truth.
YOUR behavior is driven by the values you think are important.
In the case of children, behavior is driven by the values THEY ARE TAUGHT.
A strong family is built with the values you teach.
4. Increase the odds your children will make good choices when you are not around
Children today are surrounded by lures and temptations that promise a thrill or immediate pleasure, but result in unhappiness and addictions.
There’s a good chance someone will try to talk your children into trying drugs, alcohol, casual sex, joining a gang, committing a crime, or watching pornography. Peer-pressure can cause children and teens to make poor choices.
You can’t be there all the time to protect them. But you can increase the odds your kids will make good choices even when you are not around—even when faced with peer-pressure.
As a result, you will experience more peace of mind.